enrfy

Newbie
Jun 14, 2017
20
10
Good game keep up the good work.
My main complaint is that we can't pick the nickname for Ellie to call the main character. Other than that it is just nitpicks like the fact that we can't try to go for both pride and wrath at the same play through.
 
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Hercule_Poirot

Well-Known Member
Aug 22, 2016
1,254
1,673
I'm not sure if this has ever been answered before, but the first picture from the second row from the gallery (counting from the left) seems to be empty or maybe it's just a watered down background on purpose, was that on purpose?
 
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Aioto

Active Member
Oct 31, 2018
955
928
Good game keep up the good work.
My main complaint is that we can't pick the nickname for Ellie to call the main character. Other than that it is just nitpicks like the fact that we can't try to go for both pride and wrath at the same play through.
The sins are to be acquired one at a time, so when the MC is done with the one he's getting first he'll do the other one. The current free version doesn't have the end of the paths for either sin yet. When the version that has the rest of the content of the sins gets here the people that picked Wrath will be able to finish and do Pride and vice versa.
 
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Commentonpornsubs

New Member
Jul 2, 2024
1
0
One thing that takes me out of the writing a lot, and is something I notice in a lot of Reddit fiction, is switching willy-nilly between past and present tense, without any real justification for it.

I realize with the sheer amount of writing in this already it would be a pain to comb through it all and make it all stick to one tense, but I do think it would improve the final product by a large margin.

Past that, I was considering supporting on Patreon, but I didn't quite understand what the rewards referring to x amount of extra versions entailed.

Is it additional scenes with specific characters? Additional characters with whom you can interact?

That said, it's a great game, and I do really enjoy it! Just my specific thoughts on what could be improved. The premise is really fun.
 

Chaosslayer

Member
Jun 8, 2018
266
105
I like the game but wish the mc was more constant in his debauchery and mentality also him sharing the sisters instead of breaking them makes no sense he should clearly just dom them he already had power to so it's weird he had to agree the sister to break in the mom the writing makes it seem like he's skittish ranging on bipolar he can't stick to soemthing
 

Chaosslayer

Member
Jun 8, 2018
266
105
The sins are to be acquired one at a time, so when the MC is done with the one he's getting first he'll do the other one. The current free version doesn't have the end of the paths for either sin yet. When the version that has the rest of the content of the sins gets here the people that picked Wrath will be able to finish and do Pride and vice versa.
Does the paid version?
 

quiboune

Well-Known Member
Sep 2, 2018
1,048
1,066
I like the game but wish the mc was more constant in his debauchery and mentality also him sharing the sisters instead of breaking them makes no sense he should clearly just dom them he already had power to so it's weird he had to agree the sister to break in the mom the writing makes it seem like he's skittish ranging on bipolar he can't stick to soemthing
I agree with that a lot. I don't like how he's acting as if he needs Harper's help, or how Emily and Alice are goddesses that can't be scratched or stained. Even Ellie is, to a certain point and in specific, more advanced scenes, treated as a valuable treasure.
 
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SmallTownBo

Member
Game Developer
Feb 23, 2018
165
219
This isn't a game
It's a friggin book
Lmao, I guess so. I originally just wrote erotica, and then transitioned to this. It's why there's so many complaints about not enough images, which isn't unfair. I personally don't think they're necessary, as the purpose of this medium is the writing. If you want to watch porn, there's plenty of better ways. There's too many HTML games that, imo, are basically just gifs and videos surrounded by one sentence of writing. That's just porn.

All that to say is that if you don't like that, it's understandable, but it's just my style. I hope you find a game you do enjoy (y)

Why can I start a "quest" that I shouldn't actually be able to do yet?
The Pride "quest" mentions a spell that I shouldn't be able to do yet because I'm not that far along in the coven "quest" yet. Is it a bug or did Dev overlooked that the quest should be locked until you're far enough along in the coven "quest"?
That might be an oversight, send me your save, and I'll take a look at it.

Reading this 'book' is getting a bit tiring o_O. More gameplay would be nice. I know it's a Twine game, but still?
What exactly does "gameplay" look like in a Twine game? I know there are some devs that go nuts, but like I said, this is my first game. The main focus should be the writing.

Good game keep up the good work.
My main complaint is that we can't pick the nickname for Ellie to call the main character. Other than that it is just nitpicks like the fact that we can't try to go for both pride and wrath at the same play through.
I can add a nickname system, it's not too difficult.

Although as for the sins, in later versions, I do have them so when you finish one, you can automatically start the next one. I did already finish them off in a later version, which (shameless self promotion time) is on my .

I'm not sure if this has ever been answered before, but the first picture from the second row from the gallery (counting from the left) seems to be empty or maybe it's just a watered down background on purpose, was that on purpose?
What gallery? Did you respond in the wrong thread?

One thing that takes me out of the writing a lot, and is something I notice in a lot of Reddit fiction, is switching willy-nilly between past and present tense, without any real justification for it.

I realize with the sheer amount of writing in this already it would be a pain to comb through it all and make it all stick to one tense, but I do think it would improve the final product by a large margin.

Past that, I was considering supporting on Patreon, but I didn't quite understand what the rewards referring to x amount of extra versions entailed.

Is it additional scenes with specific characters? Additional characters with whom you can interact?

That said, it's a great game, and I do really enjoy it! Just my specific thoughts on what could be improved. The premise is really fun.
Hmm, I like to think I keep it pretty straight with the tenses. My editor is way more detail oriented, and he never mentioned anything. Do let me know whenever you see it, it might be an accident.

As for the versions, each release has at least two scenes with girls, and a narrative. So with 5 extra versions, you get at least ten scvenes (Versions 0.21 - 0.25 have a lot of content, much more than the minimum).
 
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SmallTownBo

Member
Game Developer
Feb 23, 2018
165
219
I like the game but wish the mc was more constant in his debauchery and mentality also him sharing the sisters instead of breaking them makes no sense he should clearly just dom them he already had power to so it's weird he had to agree the sister to break in the mom the writing makes it seem like he's skittish ranging on bipolar he can't stick to soemthing
I agree with that a lot. I don't like how he's acting as if he needs Harper's help, or how Emily and Alice are goddesses that can't be scratched or stained. Even Ellie is, to a certain point and in specific, more advanced scenes, treated as a valuable treasure.
Ok, I do see this complaint a lot, and I do want to explain a bit.

Variety, as the saying goes, is the spice of life. Sure, I could make the character treat every single woman the exact same, but it would get boring much quicker. Having differing relationships with different girls will open up much more interesting scenes where said characters interact with each other. Like, for example, the scene with Ellie and the other girl in this version. That's only possible when there's differences in how the MC treats them.

Second, moving away from the real life reasons, narratively, it does make sense why the MC treats some women differently. Danielle he treats like shit because she had made his life terrible in the past. Harper, Emily, and Ellie, are different because he was raised with them. The list goes on.
 
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Hercule_Poirot

Well-Known Member
Aug 22, 2016
1,254
1,673
I meant the gallery from your cellphone. The first to pictures appear to be generic background pics, but the third one seems to be a whitewashed green one , which looks more like an empty space for a picture, rather than an actual picture.
 

SmallTownBo

Member
Game Developer
Feb 23, 2018
165
219
I meant the gallery from your cellphone. The first to pictures appear to be generic background pics, but the third one seems to be a whitewashed green one , which looks more like an empty space for a picture, rather than an actual picture.
Oh, no, the first three are meant to be generic. The green one is there on purpose (y)
 
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Chaosslayer

Member
Jun 8, 2018
266
105
I agree with that a lot. I don't like how he's acting as if he needs Harper's help, or how Emily and Alice are goddesses that can't be scratched or stained. Even Ellie is, to a certain point and in specific, more advanced scenes, treated as a valuable treasure.
At the very least even those he's working with the Coven he should get revenge on them they like messed him up more then once and alot especially 2 of them
 
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